


new beginings

by Morbid__beauty



Category: My Chemical Romance, bands - Fandom, ferard - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Gay, Gay Male Character, M/M, otp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-11 15:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5631322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morbid__beauty/pseuds/Morbid__beauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New school? New people? And a new house? How was I supposed to cope with this?!<br/>Frank thought to himself. He and his mother had just moved into a new town where he was forced to go to a new school.<br/>He had no intention of making friends...well not until he met the beautiful boy with almond coloured eyes in the corridor. Suddenly Frank didn't mind his new school so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. new people

**Author's Note:**

> hhiiiii guys i hope you enjoy this i'm gonna try and post daily. constrictive criticism is always welcome. feel free to comment :) also most of the chapters are going to be named after songs so ill put the song and artist that inspired the chapter in to the begining notes :P

*Frank's point of view*

New Jersey was never my favorite place. Mostly everywhere was drugs, alcohol and sex.  
Not that sex is bad or anything.  
But the place is just filled with a bunch of bad shit. And guess who has to live in this hell hole.  
Me.  
And of course, me being sixteen, I have to go to a new school.  
I wouldn't mine moving schools. But It's January. Which is when everyone is all settled in the school and everyone knows where they are going.  
So I'm fucked.  
Thanks mom.  
I never really liked school. I was always picked on for my height. I'm not even that short. 5'4 is not short.  
Okay never mind I'm short but hopefully I will get a bit taller.  
Maybe this school wont even that bad.

I sighed as I rolled out of bed. I groaned and stood up, grabbing my sweat shirt and jeans and throwing them on to me. Once I looked somewhat decent in my clothes, I walked downstairs. My mom was sitting on the couch, texting.  
I sighed as she noticed me. I was grabbing my bag that I had packed the night before.

"Here." She said, throwing me a granola bar. I shrugged and opened it.

"Thanks, love you, bye." I rushed out, biting my granola bar as walked out of the house. 

I slammed the door before she could say anything else. I took another bite of my granola bar and started walking to the school.For some fucking reason, no one seemed to live on my road. I don't see one single car, or person on the road. That's probably because I have to be at school at 7:00, which is ridiculously early. Who the actual fuck want's to be awake this early? Is is even humanly possible to wake up this early without an alarm?

I shook my head and sighed as I saw the big, brick building in the distance. I bit my lip as I saw kids pile into the school.My anxiety struck and I regretted every single life decision I have ever made. As I rushed into the building, I groaned softly.I instantly regretted every decision I'd ever made.

'I always hate the first day,' I thought to myself. I was looking down as I walked, so I was completely caught off guard when I felt myself run into another body.

"Sorry" I mumbled quietly, then looked up to see just who I had hit. When I shifted my gaze upwards, shyly, I was met with the most breath taking sight. Looking through my dark fringe I saw the boy had, shockingly, bright red hair, that hung just above his shoulders, and was in need of a wash. Looking closer at him I saw his Deep hazel colored eye, struck with fear. He looked afraid and shy, almost as if he were afraid I'd hit him...

"I-I'm...I'm sorry" the boy stuttered out, nervously.  
"Hey, don't be. It was my bad" I flashed him a killer smile, one I knew could get me out of any awkward situation." I'm Frank, Frank Iero." I extended my hand to shake his. As soon as I moved the boy flinched away, cowering as if he were going to get struck. We stood for a what seemed like hours, but in reality was only about 2 minutes. I retracted my hand, causing the other boy to relax a little. After a while he said;

"I-I'm Gerard...Gerard Way." He gave a small half smile. "Are you new?...I've never noticed you before..." Suddenly he looked on edge again, almost afraid of how I was going to react to the question.

"Yes,' I nodded, smiling again trying to set him back at ease. It worked but only a little. "I just moved here with my mom" I said, although he hadn't asked.  
"Oh..." The boy, Gerard, contemplated for a few seconds. "Do you need any help finding your classes?" This time when he spoke he sounded comfortable and not as if he was fearing getting hit.

"That would be great," I flashed him another killer smile, earning myself a small blush from my new acquaintance. 'He's adorable' i thought to myself.

Slowly I slipped my messenger bag off of my shoulder, so I didn't startle him again, and placed it on the floor. Quickly I started hunting through the bag, finally digging out my schedule and handing it to him. Gerard smiled, taking my breath away slightly. He looked over the schedule once and nodded to himself.

"You have art with Mr.Lloyd," Gerard looked over at me, seeing my worried expression he added, "don't worry he isn't that bad, plus I'll be in that class"  
Although I was glad, the fact that Gerard was in my class did little to shake my anxiety. I was awful at art and having Gerard there to impress was only going to make it worse. Slowly we made our way down the corridor, Gerard leading and me following.

We had only gotten a little way down the the hall before a towering jock in a football jersey slammed Gerard against a nearby locker.

"Stupid fag!" The jock shouted at Gerard, "found yourself a new toyboy have you?! Ha! Well I'm sure he'll get tired of you, you fuck!" The jock laughed mockingly at Gerard and gave him a swift kick to the stomach before walking off.

Horrified I got to my knees to check if Gerard was OK,while angrily glaring at the jocks back.

"What's that guy’s problem?!" I asked, more to myself than anyone, trying hard to control my anger, and keep my voice below a shout. Switching my attention back to Gerard, I asked gently "are you Okay?" "I'm fine..." He said wincing slightly as he got up.

He looked slightly uncomfortable and looked down at the floor, almost as if he were ashamed. then suddenly his face hardened into a mask of unreadable emotion 

i was puzzling over it when the bell rang, making us both officially late for class. "Oops" I said awkwardly . I stood up brushing the dust off of my ripped jeans and extended a hand to help Gerard up. He accepted the help and uncomfortably smiled.

"You sure you're okay?" I asked, still remembering that he had been kicked in the stomach.

"Yeah, they've done worse to me..." He smiled sadly, once again looking at the floor.

Suddenly I felt a flash of anger flow through me. How dare they do that? Biting my bottom lip, I was all of a sudden unsure of my feelings... Why was I so angry for a person I just met? For someone didn't even know? Gerard's voice cut through my train of thought 

"We better get to class Mr.Lloyd will be pissed if we're later than we already are..." I nodded and we both rushed off to class.

'Well' I thought to myself 'this is going to be an interesting year!'

Third period was lunch. Yes, because I totally want to be surrounded by kids my age that are about two feet taller than me.  
I am still pissed at my genetics for making me short, but it has it's perks. First of all, I can get through this crowd of kids easily by squeezing my way through. Which is exactly what I did.

My next problem was where the actual fuck am I going to sit? I looked around. One table was filled with a bunch of girls all wearing pink, which just reminded me of mean girls. It's probably Wednesday.

The next table I scoped was one with a bunch of kids who just looked well, normal. I would probably be intruding their space because the table was full.  
Lastly, I looked at the table with only two people at it.  
Slowly, I approached the table.

the table was round and the two guys were sat opposite one another.the guy closest to me had his back was towards me. But I could tell he was a lanky boy with brown hair, and he was wearing a gray beanie. His friend who was sat facing me had huge, curly hair. It wasn't an Afro, but it was just really curly

The boy with the big hair was staring at me. He was the only one facing me.

Don't fuck this up Frank...

"C-can I sit with you?" I merely choked out. The boy with the beanie took control of the conversation.

"Yeah sure, have a seat. I'm Mikey." He said, holding out his hand to shake. I awkwardly shook his hand, As I shook with fear.

Holy shit they probably think you're fucking stupid.

"Frank." I said my name with a bit more confidence. The boy, now named Mikey, Smiled at me. 

I quietly slipped into the seat to the left of Mikey, placing myself between the two guys.   
We ate our lunches in an uncomfortable silence for about ten minutes before Mikey suddenly jumped to his feet waving his arms like an excited puppy would, if puppies had arms I guess…

I looked around to see what he was doing unlike ray who seemed to be used to his spontaneous behavior. i looked in the direction Mikey was waving and instantly saw who he was waving too. suddenly i choked on the air i was trying to breath. i tried to remember his name and instantly it came to me. Gerard. he came over to the table smiling a dazzling smile. he dumped his tray of canteen slop onto the table and sat right in the seat opposite to me and his messy red hair caught the like causing a red aura to shine around his head. i hadn't noticed before but he was wearing a black sweat shirt that was slightly too big, and black skinny jeans. He looked like someone I would typically hang out with and he seemed nice.

I wanted to say something to him again, my social awkwardness defeated me and I had just went back to staring at the phenomenal boy, pretending our encounter in the corridor didn’t happen. 

Mikey grinned and shook his head turning to address me again.   
"This is my brother Gerard." He said, motioning towards the boy who just sat down. 

Now that he was in front of me and i had a slight reason to stare i took my chance. He had milky white skin that was clear of any blemishes. His face was round, but a bit sunken. He was thin, and had the hair that I have fallen to love in only a matter of seconds.

"Gerard" Grinned lightly at me and nodded.He didn't seem too pleased, but he was probably just dealing with the fact that some short kid with face piercing just came and sat at his table. "Frank right?"

I nodded, confused.he had acted differently when i met him earlier, maybe he had a bad period or something…

Mikey didn’t seem phased by the fact Gerard knew my name and continued speaking.

"Oh and this is Ray." Mikey pointed to the kid with the Afro like hair who he had forgotten to introduce earlier. Ray grinned at me with a smile that could probably make plants go into photosynthesis. Yes, It was that bright.

I nodded at Mikey, who was probably judging me harshly in this moment for staring, as first impressions are very significant.

We went trough almost all of lunch sat in science, well ll of us but Mikey. I shook my head and tried making normal conversation with Mikey. Well, until Gerard finally decided to speak.

"Do you have music class last period?" Gerard said. His voice sounded so beautiful when he spoke.

It was weird to think of it though.

"I think. I don't know It's my first day. But I can check." I said, and I grabbed my notebook and read my schedule. I nodded at Gerard.

"Oh cool. We all have Music together then." Gerard said. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, But I really hopped he wasn't.

I nodded, trying not to show the side of me that was literally dying on the inside to know everything about everyone.

Gerard seemed like a mysterious person. Like, he probably doesn't open up to people much. I looked down at his jacket.

“You like the Misfits?" I asked. Gerard's face lit up.

"Yeah, I do actually." I could tell he was a bit apprehensive. I wouldn't blame him. Talking to people really isn't really my forte and either is his.

"What other bands do you uh, like." I asked, still nervously.

"Green Day, The Smashing Pumpkins... You know the good stuff." Gerard said with a smile across his face.

I saw Mikey glance and as soon as his eyes his Gerard's smile, his own grin amplified.

I could infer one thing. Gerard is a music nerd. And so am I.  
And hopefully we can get along.

After about fourth period (after lunch) I had totally lost interest in what my class teachers were saying, so I went home despite the fact i had music last. First period, art, had been only just about bearable, and that was only due to the presence of Gerard, well nice Gerard. 

i had figured out, after the 40 minute lunch break spent with him, that Gerard had two personalities, metaphorically. sometimes he would be nice and approachable… but other times he was harsh and would hardly say a word. 

At least with nice Gerard in my class I had someone to try to talk to. But Gerard and I had parted ways after art and I was forced to go with some guy called josh, or James? Ugh I didn't remember. 

I hated school I always had and to be honest I had no intention in coming to this school.when I had come to this shitty school it was only to please mom and I hadn't expected to make any friends, let alone find a guy who was actually worth my time… maybe

To be honest after my last 'boyfriend' and I had broken up I just assumed no one was worth the time and I wasn't worth anyone else's time either. I'd always hoped I'd find someone who would love me for me, and who I could love in return, but over time I lost that hope... Throughout the whole walk home Gerard dominated my mind. Thoughts of his strawberry red hair. Thoughts of his almond colored eyes. I sighed at the thought of him. 

*************************************************************  
*Gerard's point of view*

I've never been so happy in all my life. Every day of high school had started to blur together for me. Everything was always the same. The same people spewing the same hate for everything he did that was different to them, for everything they didn't understand. and me. always pretending to not give a shit.   
always pretending i don’t care.   
but… i do care.   
I care a lot.  
I care too much, to be accurate.

But meeting frank made me feel a lot better. however…. I couldn’t show him… or anyone.

Not if i wanted him to be safe from the torment i am subjected to. it had already started to happen….

When Frank and I walked into our first class, we had to listen to the teacher yell at us for a few minutes with an uncomfortable look on his face before we could sit down. As we walked to the back of the room our 'classmates' hissed messages of hate at us as we went by.

Lunch was uncomfortable. I had clearly been a dick to frank but there was nothing i could do… i couldn’t show people i had an interest in him…. i saw the hurt in his eyes even when he looked down. 

Maybe things might work out… Maybe I'll get lucky and be struck by lightning.I guess we'll just have to see.


	2. Chapter 2

*Gerard's point of view*

My style had never been really 'chosen' by me.... More like 'make do with what you've got because that's all you're getting'. I never really took other people's opinion into account, even if I did I'm not sure anyone would give a fuck. Although I didn't much care about others thoughts on my, this morning was different.

I was surprised at how self-conscious that made me. On a usual week day I looked a complete mess. Greasy hair and jeans way to loose, due to dramatic weight loss from times mom sent me to my room without food or times I had been bad. My t-shirts were all to baggy and way over sized. It was obvious I needed new clothes, but there was no way I was telling my mother that....whenever we went shopping she would always drag me to the most expensive section of each shop and force me to try on ridiculous clothes. Shirts with disgusting patterns on or jeans that were bright green. She would then pick up the most expensive of the plain jeans and shirts and buy them. Of course we most certainly could not afford such clothes and when the bills came out was when all hell broke loose in our house.

She would scream and shout about how 'ungrateful' I was and how she 'wished my father had taken me away with him like he’d taken Mikey.' I knew she didn't mean it though...it was just the alcohol talking...of course she wanted me, obviously she wanted me.

I frowned And opened my closet, revealing the the small content it held. One pair of 'skinny jeans', that were so baggy they to be called skinny jeans anymore, and two way oversized t-shirts, that may have had a band logo on at one point but was now to worn and faded to distinguish.

Sighing I pulled out the pair of jeans and one of the t-shirts, then frowned. There was no way Frank would ever like me dressed like this... not that I can do anything to help it. It’s not even like i cared that much…

I also pulled out the black nail polish from the back of my closet, where it sat with 5 other colors I had swiped from a store last time my mom forced me to go shopping with her. maybe the nail varnish was a bit over kill but eh who cares.

Silently I tiptoed to my bedroom door and paused.

'Now' I thought to myself 'how do I open the door without waking her up...'  
Quietly I pushed the door, my fingers crossed and breath held. To my relief the door opened without so much as a squeak, I slipped out into the darkened hall. Heading towards the bathroom door I glanced at my moms room. Luckily there was no sign of movement, so I continued towards the bathroom where to my delight the door was open.

As quietly as I could I pushed the door half closed, and started changing as fast as I could. Every 2 minutes I would stop and listen for and indications that my mother was awake, hearing none I finished getting dressed and turned the tap on. To my regret it made a loud squeak noise as the water traveled through the pipes. I froze and listened. I stayed that way for a good 5 minutes, until I was totally convinced she was still sleeping. I ran my hair under the water washing some of the grease and filth out the tangled mess.

I looked up into the mirror for a few minutes trying to hold back tears that were determined to come. Finally admitting defeat I let them come and run down my cheeks. Taking a deep breath I pulled myself together and started to rearrange the placement of my hair, so that it hid the large purple bruise on my neck.  
Last night mom had come home in a particularly awful mood. As soon as she came in she headed straight for the kitchen, where I was frantically scrubbing at the floor trying to dispose of the dirt that had been walked in over the past day. She went to the bottle of alcohol opening it with a pop.

Instead of taking the glass from the side, that I had placed there earlier that evening, she drank straight from the bottle. I continued cleaning feeling her presence shift so she was stood directly over me. Trying my best not to shake I kept scrubbing the floor. Suddenly I felt pain shoot through me, causing involuntary tears to form. She had grabbed me by the hair pulling my head up from my work and forcing me to look at her. She looked awful, with bloodshot eyes and a savage look on her face.

"Have you cleaned the whole house?!" She asked venomously. "You filthy fucking Faggot"

"Y-yes, mommy" I said nervously.

"All of it!?" She yelled in my face. I nodded frantically, causing more pain as she still had me by the hair. Suddenly she dragged me over to the microwave, one of the only places I had failed to clean in time before she got home.  
"Even in here?!" She motioned towards it. 

"I-I...I didn't have ti-" I started, but was cut short due to a harsh sharp slap to the face.

"Don't fucking lie to me! You disgusting sodomite!"

"I'm sorry mommy...I-I'm sorry" I cried, unable to stop the tears from coming.

"Shut up!" She kicked me swiftly in the stomach, releasing my hair, causing me to fall and curl into a ball on the ground. In this position the only available areas of my body to damage and inflicted pain where my back, shins and neck. Deciding that my back and shins wouldn't cause enough pain she kicked me in the side of the neck then picked me up in the same place.

"Stop your fucking blubbering!" She said, tossing me to the floor as if I were a rag doll.

She sent me to my room that night without dinner and I didn't expect any food this morning ether.

Shaking my head I tried to focus on getting ready for school quickly and quietly. Silently I pull the black nail polish from my pocket and start to paint my nails. So focused on what I was doing I forgot to check for any signs of movement, and realizes all too late that my mother was up. Not only was she up but she was stood in the doorway of the bathroom, with a look of utter disgust and hate plastered on her face.

I looked up, eyes wide with fear. I cowered waiting for the blow. I wasn't disappointed, she moved closer and planted a harsh slap right across my face. She then grabbed my still damp hair and dragged me into the hallway.

"Get out!" She screamed at me, slapping me in the face once again then pushing me towards the stairs. "Get the fuck out!" I sober once again and ran down the steps as soon as she released my hair.

Grabbing my school bag from the floor I hurried outside and ran from the street, and from my mother.

I took the long way to school taking my time, thinking about anything but my mom. My thoughts wondered back to Frank. The only person who had ever been nice to me. Well the only person other than Mikey who had been taken away by my dad….

He had tried to take me too but i couldn't leave my mom… she needed me, i couldn't abandon her. 

Shaking my head I dismissed the thought of Mikey and my Dad In fear of crying again, and instead replaced it with thoughts of Frank. The rest of the way to school I thought about Frank, about how beautiful his eyes are and how kind he is. I wanted to see him so badly. When I eventually got to school a couple of guys came up to me.

"Where's your boyfriend, Way?" The first guy asked me mockingly.  
I ignored him and tried to push past or walk around them but both guys stepped into my path, blocking the way.

"Don't walk away from us faggot!" The second guy yelled in my face, shoving me and making me stumble backwards a few steps.

The guy who shoved me pulled his arm back like he was going to hit me, but as he swung forward, another arm intercepted his, pushing above my head and away from me. Suddenly I realized that Frank was beside me, with Ray just a little in front blocking the path of the two guys. One of the guys started forward again looking as if he was going to swing.

"Don't." Ray said calmly, although it he had a look that could kill in his eyes. The guy moved back a little, and glared at Ray.

Both guys looked furious, but instead of moving closer or trying to take a swing the first guy looked at Frank.

"I would stay away if I were you," he growled.

Frank seemed unintimidated. "That's funny, I was going to say the same thing" he replied, his tone neutral.

Without another word Frank turned to me and ignored the guys.

“you good soldier?” he asked patting my back.

"I-I'm sorry" I stammered, knowing i was failing at keeping frank from being harassed.

"What for?" Frank looked totally perplexed as he asked.

“No reason…” i slipped the mask of emotionlessness face onto my face seeing a flash of hurt in Frank’s eyes. I screamed internally. I had never wanted to cause him any trouble.

"Come on," Frank said, "if we're late to art again, dude-man, will probably try and have us arrested." He laughed at his own joke and kept walking.

Ray shook his head with a smile on his face. "Dude, did you pay any attention yesterday?" He laughed a little.

"Not really." Frank said with a shrug and smirked.

"You don't even know your teachers name, man" Ray said still chuckling.

"Eh, I had better things to pay attention to." He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

*******************************************************  
*Frank's point of view*

The day passed in a blur, even the parts spent staring at the back of Gerard’s head.   
After one more period of nerve killing embarrassment, I head off the my last period, music, which happens to be with the three people that I can actually stand in this school. 

My interest is heading more towards Gerard. Something just screams out " Hey, I can probably connect to you the most emotionally."

I walk into the class and look for the table with Gerard, Mikey, and Ray. I walk over nervously. Hopefully, They saw me as tolerable.  
I sat down, biting my lip apprehensively.Gerard forced a grin at me. He was sitting at the end of the table, drawing in a sketchbook. maybe he was mad at me for defending him this morning…. Mikey was talking to Ray, so I decided to move closer to Gerard.

I waited for him to start a conversation but it didn't happen. Instead, I sat there like a crew watching him draw. I smiled as he drew. He is actually pretty talented.

After about ten minutes in a painful silence, I decided to say something

 

"H-hey." I said lightly. Gerard jolted back, almost falling out of his chair.  
"Holy shit you scared me." Gerard said as he took a deep breath. I felt kinda bad now.

"S-sorry about that." I measly stuttered out. Gerard nodded.

"It's fine." He bit the corner of his bottom lip. 

He circled his pencil around with his fingers and I couldn't help but stare at his hands.  
I have to admit he is pretty damn attractive. His skin was white as milk and it look like it was glowing due to the contrast of his red hair. His body was small. He was small. I bit my bottom lip and watched him draw again.

"You know you are really talented..." I said, trying to be nice. It was true. He was great at drawing from what I could see. Very small.

"You're talented... At drawing." I pointed at his drawing. His cheeks turned bright red.

"R-really? Y-you t-think so?" His eyes lit up, showing a slight part of ‘nice Gerard’. I nodded.

"Yeah you are really great. I wish I could draw like that." I smiled at him. He didn't respond for a moment and put his pencil down.

 

"Would you guys like to uh... Come over to my house today after school?" I asked the three guys in front of me. they all agreed that it would be an awesome idea I looked down for a moment at the tiled floor. I sighed lightly and looked around. I had absolutely no idea what to do at this moment. Should I go grab an instrument? Should I wait here like a sitting duck? I had no fucking clue.

I decided to grab a guitar from the corner of the Room. The teacher really didn't do anything this period. She just kinda sat at her desktop doing something on the computer. To most kids, A teacher not paying attention is heaven. But to me, it's hell. Think of it. Thirty screaming teenagers that have the intellect of five year olds.

Yes, because that's always fun.

I went to grab the guitar, but some huge kid in front of me too it first. So I dragged my feet back to my seat and plopped down onto the cold, plastic chair that was next to Gerard.

Mikey looked over at me. "So how has school been treating you?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Okay I guess..." I looked down. Gerard and I made a quick eye contact. He raised his eyebrow at me. Did he think I was lying?

"You sure?" Mikey asked, obviously asking due to the look on Gerard's face. "You can tell us you know. We have encountered every single dick back in this hell hole." Mikey gave me a comforting smile

"I'm sure." I lied to him. I knew the bullying was going to get worse. It barely even started. The most that has happened is me being pushed into a wall, which is nothing I can't handle.

Bullying was one of the reasons I agreed moved. It was bad. And by bad I mean, really bad. I was thrown into lockers and kept in their all night. I was beaten to the point I had to go to the hospital.

Bullying just made me alone and depressed. Yet it opened my eyes and showed me how cruel people in the world could be. That no matter where you go, there will always be someone or something negative.

after 20 agonizingly silent minutes between our small group the bell finally rang. i remembered that everyone, Gerard included, was coming over.

Everyone started packing their things. I took all my folders and shoved them roughly in my bag, barely zipping it closed. I swung my bag over my shoulder and slowly. I looked over at Gerard who was putting his sketchbook in his bad gently. I watched him as he finished packing all his stuff along with Mikey and Ray, and we all walked out of the class to the hall.

As we walked, I noticed Gerard keeping his head down the whole time. I bit my lip with concern. Once we reached the front door of the school, we all walked on the side walk, two by two. Mikey and Ray where in the front while me and Gerard were in the back. The lengthy walk was mostly Mikey and Ray blabbing about some random chick in the school that I guess they both thought were "Hot." I shrugged it. I don't like girls anyway, due to the fact that I am a raging homosexual.

I wanted to talk to Gerard but i really didn't want to make it awkward, so I decided to just stay silent the whole time.   
once we had reached my house i took lead of the group opening the door and shoving my bag on the floor.

 

“are you guys hungry?” i asked. Mikey nodded enthusiastically. 

“obviously!” he said. i shrugged. 

"Yeah, I guess." Ray replied. To be honest i wasn't that hungry at the moment, but it's better than eating nothing. I saw Gerard, biting his lip nervously. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't decide to question it.

"I'll order a pizza." Mikey said as he pulled his Iphone out of his pocket and dialed the pizza place. Ray, Gerard, and myself just stood there awkwardly.

"So, uh, Frank... Where are you from?" Ray asked.

"I've always lived in the east part of town." I lied, kicking my shoes off leading the guys to the large living space. Ray nodded.

"Then why did you move schools?" He asked, obviously being confused. Distressed crossed my face.

"I uh..." I shrugged and looked down. "L-long story." Ray nodded, understanding and not asking more. Mikey walked back over to us.

"Pizza should be here in an hour." He said. We all nodded. 

Because my mother and i move quite a lot we always ended up buying house that where already furnished. we got lucky this time. The interior of this house was better than some of the houses we’d previously owned. 

One wall,the far left one, was made of entirely glass slide doors, letting a lot of light in allowing the room to be lit up.

The wall adjacent to that was wallpapered. The pattern on the wall paper was of large grey flowers, admittedly not my favorite but it was better than the disgusting orange of our last house. On this wall there was a large 50 inch flat screen tv. this was probably one of my favorite items in the whole house. On each side of the tv there is two large strip speakers. This equaled a large amount of sound when watching movies. 

the right wall, opposite the glass wall, was painted white. On this wall there was a large painting of a woman’s silhouette mounted. 

The floor was made of white marble and showed your reflection when you looked down. It all looked very aesthetically pleasing, much to my taste. 

The furniture in the room also matched the color scheme. there were two grey and white sofas facing one another, on facing towards the glass wall and one facing the white wall. between these two sofas was a white marble coffee table with black candles and cup mats. At the end of the coffee table, facing the tv, was my favorite sofa. It was a simple design with a black cushion creating the part you sit on. 

As we all approached the living room Mikey, the most excited of the group, jumped over the back of my favorite black sofa. He lay across it taking the whole thing leaving the two grey and white sofas left for Gerard, Ray and myself to sit on. 

Ray went over to the sofa pushed against the white wall. I went to sit opposite leaving Gerard stood by the door.

We ended up sitting on the couches watching the movie 'heathers' on Netflix. at some point Gerard had moved to sit next to me. Eventually the food came and we sat on the four black bean bags, i grabbed from my room, and crowded around the coffee table because Mikey was afraid he would put ‘pizza juice’ on the white couch. 

 

“Dude you mean grease” Ray corrected him, putting the pizza on the coffee table. 

“I know what i mean!” Mikey glared at Ray then laughed.

We continued chomping down the pizzas. I'm pretty sure Ray didn't even chew his because it was gone in a matter of seconds. I grabbed a paper plate from the coffee table and took a slice of pizza. I moved back, allowing Gerard room to grab his own. I watched as he became very hesitant. He shakily grabbed a paper plate and a slice of the pizza and sat down on a bean bag. He pulled on next to him and motioned for me to sit down with him, which of course I did.

I kept a close eye on Gerard as he ate his pizza. I had finished two slices by the time he was half done was his. I bit my lip and watched him finish his slice and bolt up from his bean bag, letting out a small whimper.

"Excuse me." He said, pushing past the couch. “Do you have a bathroom?” He asked me.

"Gee... no." Mikey pleaded, but Gerard dissipated into the hallway in the direction i told him to go. I sat there, very confused.

"What was that about?" I asked, trying not to sound rude. Mikey bit his lip.

 

"Gerard has a little... Problem I guess you could say, With Food." Mikey looked obviously hurt by the fact that his brother's problem. The room fell silent for a second as you could hear Gerard, gagging in the bathroom. Mikey pinched his glabella and sighed heavily.

"So h-hes.... Bulimic?" I asked, biting my lip. Mikey shrugged.

“Something like that….” Mikey sighed. "I-i honestly don't know. He doesn't eat and when he does he goes and throws it up. Just.... Just please don't tell him I told you," Mikey said, being hurt by the fact he didn’t know what was going on.

Ten minutes of silence passed the room as Gerard walked back in the room. All I did was stare at him. I saw it now. How thin he is. His cheeks were hollow, his arms were stick like, his thighs were so far apart i could probably stick my head between them without touching. Not only that but his hair had been ruffled on one side showing a large purple bruise . 

It didn't occur to me how thin he actually was until I knew this about him.

My eyes were wide with sympathy and I looked at Gerard, hoping he didn't notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for people who like visuals of things this is what i was aiming for the living room to look like  
> http://www.faburous.com/architecture/best-interior-for-designer-houses/  
> scroll to number 5 :)


	3. HELP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELP- The Front Bottoms  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU1TAIJdPKM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> may be triggering or upsetting due to violence  
> just want to be happy-Kirk Franklin  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mo8OxWgk8k

*Gerard's point of view*

When the pizza was delivered I cringed internally. The fact is, I fucking hate eating. I hate every part of it. It’s not even like i really need it… Mom always tells me i don’t deserve it…. She’s right, i don’t need it. I hate it. Yet when it’s in front of me, i get the crave to eat it. And i end up doing just that…

The thing is though, even if i didn’t hate it i can never keep it down. And i feel bad because i know Mikey can tell. I know it hurts him to not understand what’s going on. 

Our mother had always preferred Mikey and so he had never really been punished as bad as i was. He wasn't even subjected to watching… My mother would drag me into the spare bedroom when i was bad so she could set me straight. Mikey had never really understood what was going on… He didn’t really know why dad had taken him away. Or why he wasn’t aloud to visit mom. 

But i do hate myself for eating most of the time. Sometimes i see myself as stick thin, but then i remember a book i had read about how sometimes people see themselves as how they want to be seen…. I’m soon reminded of the facts. 

Like the fat ass I am, I chowed down on a whole slice of pizza. The anxiety in had me filled all the way to the top and I bolted out of my chair to get the whole 285 calories out of my body.

"Excuse me." I had moaned out pathetically and ran out the room.

"Gee...No." I heard Mikey say, but it was too late.

I locked the bathroom door and ran the faucet to block out the noise of my disgusting gagging. I knelled over the toilet and tried to stop the tears from falling. I dry heaved three times until the pizza, which didn't even look like pizza anymore, leaked out of my throat and down into the toilet. Afterwords, I wiped away the vomit on the toilet and flushed away all my problems like I usually did.

I sighed and walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room. The environment felt awkward. I felt all eyes in the room on my. Especially Franks. His big, light brown eyes that you could go swimming in where on me. I felt like I was being choked by the sympathy that larked his eyes.

I sat there awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something.

"Gee, Do you want another slice of Pizza?" Mikey asked. I shook my head and decided to not talk for the rest of the night. Not because I couldn't, but because I honestly didn't feel like it, which was probably a dick move.

I shook a bit as I sat in the bean bag. It was pretty cold in the room even though I was huddled in my thick black sweatshirt. I shrugged it off and continued looking down, knowing that Mikey was probably infuriated with me at the moment. There was nothing i could do about it though. he would try to keep me at his house and mom needed me. 

I just decided to look at Frank. he was pretty cute. 

I kept looking at Frank, taking in his every detail. His hair was dyed as black as it could possibly be unlike my own faded red hair Mikey had done for me about 3 months ago. He had pale skin, but not as pale as me. His eyes were light

brown and as i stated before you could probably swim in them with ease. He had a small silver ring hoop in his nose, and another in his lip. I love piercings, even though I'm deadly scared of needles, they are pretty damn hot.

I smiled looking at him.

How long have I been staring at him?

Oh god Gerard, he probably thinks your a fucking creep!

I sighed and looked down, sinking into my bean bag chair, watching as Ray and Mikey were still eating pizza.

I really have no idea how these kids are not three hundred pounds by now. They probably ate the whole entire pie!

I shook my head and looked back down.

"D-do you want to go and lie down in my room for a bit Gerard?" Franks soft voice croaked through my ears. I grinned lightly and nodded. I stood up, almost falling over because FUCK I'm dizzy.

"You okay?" Frank asked. I nodded in reassurance and followed him in the direction of the stairs 

"ARE you okay?" Franks soft voice spoke with concern. I nodded once more.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said to Frank in hopes he would stop worrying. He sighed and lead me up the stairs. 

We approached a room that i figured was his. He pushed open the door and walked inside. I looked around a little bit noticing that his room had the same colour scheme as the living area down stairs.

In fact the room was much like the living room. it had a wall entirely made of glass, it looked out over the houses back yard. the bed was up against a white wash wall that had two empty frames mounted on it. 

i slowly walked over to the bed. its frame was black and it had a with duvet cover on top of it. i plopped down on it laying against the pillows feeling incredibly awkward as Frank was still in the room.

Suddenly he sighed and sat at the foot of the bed. "You know, you have really beautiful eyes." He blurted out. My eyes widened. Did he really say that? Did he really mean that?

"U-u-uhm t-thanks I guess." I said, being the awkward fuck head I am. He looked down.

"Sorry if i just made you unconformable." He said.

"No no no, actually I think It's kinda sweet to be honest." I said, hoping that he didn't feel bad about my reaction to what he said. He nodded and I saw a small grin appear on his face causing his lip ring to move up a bit. I grinned.

"You have a really pretty smile, you know that?" I blurted out. He blushed.

"R-really?" He asked. I nodded.

"Really."  
He twiddled his thumbs a bit and smiles wide like a ray of sunshine. I grinned. I loved when I made other people happy because It usually doesn't happen that often.

I looked down at Frank’s legs as they hung over my bed. I giggled a bit when I noticed that his feet didn't touch the floor because of how short he is.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked, blushing lightly. I grinned.

"You're legs, They don't reach the floor." I said. He blushed.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my height!" Frank said being defensive, yet he knew I was joking and joined in on me laughing. I smiled wide.

It felt weird smiling this much. My face actually started getting sore from how wide I was smiling, which was weird because I almost never smiled.

Now, my smile wiped off my face as I started to think why was I even smiling in the first place. Why show an emotion that isn't gonna stay for more than two minutes.  
I was now looking down when Frank stopped laughing at my stupid joke.

"What's wrong Gee?" He asked. Ah, the nicknames. In literally five minutes of having a real conversation I now have a nickname. Gee. It wasn't like no one called me Gee, But usually it’s just people that i know well. I shrugged it off.

"Nothing, just thinking about something." I said. He nodded and it was pretty damn obvious that he didn't believe me when I said nothing was wrong.

"H-Hey, Can I t-tell you something?" Frank said, biting his lip ring. Was he going to reveal all his life secrets to me?

Calm down Gerard, no. Just say no. 

"Yeah of course." I said. He nodded. God damn it Gerard! you were supposed to say no, i cursed myself.

"I uh... Just wanted to tell you this in case you uh had a problem with it. But um..." Frank hesitated for a moment and spoke again. "I'm gay." He said. I nodded slowly.

I didn't have a problem with gay people because I was some sort of one. I honestly don't know my sexuality but I know one thing.  
I'm not definitely not straight.

Even if i didn't know myself i get told enough.

"Why would I have a problem with your sexuality?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Well, I didn't know is you where homophobic or anything..." He trailed off. I  
scoffed.

"Homophobes are fags. I’ve had my fill of them...as you’ve seen" I blurted. He giggled.

"Yeah I guess. Sorry for making that awkward." He looked down.

"No It's fine I understand. I'm not really as straight as a pole either you know..." I said, knowing he would understand. He nodded.  
"What do you wanna do now?" I asked as silence was about to fall. He shrugged. I bit my lip.

"Wanna go downstairs and watch a movie with Ray and Mikey?" He asked. I nodded, smiling at him.  
"I'd like that." I replied. I grinned and stood up,walking downstairs with Frank on my tail. I walked into the living room where Ray and Mikey were sitting pretty close to each other, talking about something that I couldn't hear.

"Hey idiots, wanna watch a movie?" I said. Mikey looked at me astonished.

"Gerard… what language! Frank what have you done to him?!" I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up Mikey." I scowled and pushed him over, making room on the couch for all four of us. I'm surprised that all four of us could fit on the couch with my fat ass. I looked over as Ray was pressed up against the arm of the couch. Then It was Mikey who was really close to him. Then it was Frank next to Mikey, then lastly me. They all looked squashed together. I moved around my legs.

"Guys, you don't need to squash together like that, you aren't having an orgy. Not yet anyways.... But I have a lot of room over here." I said. What I said had caused a small smile on Frank's face. He moved a bit closer to me. Our legs were touching. It didn't bother me due to the fact any extra warmth I could get was a win for me.

"Ugh there's like no room." Ray groaned. I raised my eyebrow.

"I've got plenty of room over here."

"That's because you're a fucking twig Gerard." Ray blurted out. I scoffed.

"I'm pretty far from a twig, Ray."

"Bullshit. Your legs are thinner then my arms." He said. I laughed.

"Again, That's bullshit." I said, crossing my arms. Mikey whispered something in Rays ear and he didn't respond to me, concluding to me that what he was saying was complete bullshit.

A twig? Are you fucking kidding me?

I shook my head as Frank stood up and put star wars in the DVD player and said, “guys we literally have three couches”

However he still claimed the seat he was in before and we all settled on the couch.

I looked down, still pissed at Ray for lying to me.

I mean, Why would you lie about something like that? I bet he's just probably trying to make me feel better. I'm not oblivious like a lot of people in this world. 

I know that I'm pretty much a fat fuck.

I felt a small warmth against my ear.

"Gee, are you okay?" Frank whispered to me. I mumbled.

"I'm fine." I said. But oh, how I was lying

After a few hours of joking and watching movies we all parted ways. Luckily tonight was my dad’s night to see me and so when i arrived back at my mother’s house she was unsurprised that i was late.

I made it halfway to my room before she yelled at me. 

“GERARD!” She screamed at me. Silently i walked into the kitchen where she was drinking, once again, from the bottle. She didn’t hit me right awaylike she normally did. No. She was calm for the moment, completely peaceful as i stood silently in the doorway. 

“Come here sweetie.” She cooed. I should have known better but i took the invitation and went over to hug her. Maybe she was having a good day i thought to myself.

As soon as i was close enough she slapped my face hard causing me to stumble backwards.That was most definitely because she thought i had gone to see my dad. Usually i don't take him up on his offer. I didn't try and tell her i didn't see him though… The beating would only be worse if she found out the truth. 

She hit me for about twenty minutes straight, she definitely had not had a good day. No matter how much i had apologized she had just continued until she got bored She send me to my room to sleep after that.

I laid in bed sobbing, my arms draped over my eyes to block out the overhead lights i wasn't aloud off until my mom went to bed. My entire body hurt, no part of me spared from my mother’s anger. She’d even struck me between the legs when her blows to my face didn’t earn her enough sincere apologies. She’d made me strip off all of his clothes save for my boxers before hitting me, not to make the beating sexual but rather to further degrade and dehumanize me. Even so, her words were what clung to him as he laid on his bedroom floor.

How many times had she called me worthless this time? How many times did she tell me she wished he hadn’t been born or wished that his father had just taken him away too so she didn’t have to look at him?

Slowly, i rolled over in bed and pulled my blankets around my bruised, aching body. She’d hit me with a belt and her fists and her feet, and i felt blood dripping from more than one wound. When i rolled over, i felt my back sticking to the sheets and knew it wasn’t from sweat. The thought just made my cry harder though i tried desperately not to make any noise. Mama said if she heard one sound from me, she’d come back and “finish the job.”

I didn’t know what was left to be done to me and didn’t want to find out. I already knew I wouldn’t be going to school tomorrow and found a little comfort in knowing i could lay in bed all morning to recover.

******************************************************************  
*Frank’s point of view*

I felt my heart sink when i noticed Gerard wasn’t sitting in his usual seat that morning in art. Although i had apologized about my awful behaviour last night and he seemed fine, i couldn't help but feel i was to blame for his absence.

It was hard to focus on my schoolwork when all that i had on his mind was Gerard. The thought that i had upset Gerard so badly that he couldn’t come to school was what worried me the most. 

I watched the clock tic slowly throughout the day, and when it was finally time to leave, I ran out without even bothering to put the right books in my book bag to do my homework later. I sprinted down the corridor and saw exactly what i was looking for. Mikey. he was heading out of his geography class.

“Mikey!” I yelled, he turned seeing me he smiled.

“Hey Franky what’s up?” He asked as i approached him. 

“Hey man…” I sighed, slightly out of breath. “I’ve got a ton of Gerard’s homework,” I huffed. “Do you think you could give it to him?”

Mikey considered for moment then said, “urm… I’m not really aloud over there… if i give you the address could you maybe do it for me?”

“sure” I shrugged not looking much into it. Mikey scribbled on a note of paper and handed it to me. The whole situation was, for some reason i couldn't put my finger on, was incredibly awkward. Once it was over we parted ways. 

i tapped the address on the slip of paper into my phones maps and followed the directions my phone was yelling in my ear phones over my music. 

 

I didn’t realise while i was doing it but i had half sprinted the entire way to Gerards’s house, only slowing when I got to Gerard's block.i noticed straight away the lack of a car in the driveway indicating Gerard as either alone or not home. I slowly approached the front door and rang the bell.

I had to wait nearly ten minutes before the curtain over the window fluttered and then the door locks cracked.  
“What are you doing here?” Gerard asked, not opening the door any more than a crack.

“You weren’t at school today,” I said, suddenly the screen door was yanked open i and was pulled inside. Gerard was quick to close and lock the door behind him, and then hurried into the kitchen where he returned to doing the dishes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He whispered. “Mom wants the house clean before she gets home. Is there something you wanted?”

I stepped closer to him and saw something that made me sick to my stomach. Bruises. all over Gerard’s skin. One of his forearms was bruised, only visible since he had rolled up the baggy sleeves of his hoodie while he washed the dishes. He had purple and brown splotches on the apples of his cheeks where someone had no doubt slapped him, and there was a cut on his bottom lip that he would occasionally lick and suck on to clear it of fresh blood.

“Gerard, I’m sorry about that stuff I said before, you know… about you being good looking. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”

“huh? its fine.” He said unphased. Even Gerard didn’t look convinced. His back dipped a little further as he leaned over the sink to clean the final plate and set it in the drying rack. However i was starting to think this was about more than just what i had said.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” Gerard said, not raising his voice more than a mere mumble.

“Do you want to go get some food with me?”

“No… I’ve gotta finish the house. Finish cleaning, I mean. I have to vacuum still…and the microwave’s still dirty.”

“Can I help?” I asked, looking around for a rag I could use to wipe up the microwave.

“You don’t have to… No, Frank—Don’t! You don’t have to!” Gerard whipped around and grabbed me by the wrist when I went to open the microwave.

“Gerard, I want to. I just wanna help out.” I pulled his arm away and set to wiping at the inside of the microwave after wetting the cloth in the sink. 

“So…what happened?” I asked assuming that this was no longer about me and had i had said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Gerard mumbled.

“Gerard… Was it bullies?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it!” Gerard cried, scrubbing at the dish in his hands a little harder.

“Okay,” I said, helping Gerard clean in silence. As soon as the dishes were done, he washed down the sink and even dried the handles to prevent water spots from forming on the stainless steel. After i finished cleaning the microwave, Gerard got a fresh rag and rewashed it just to make sure that any spot i might’ve missed was covered.  
I tried talking to him, but Gerard didn’t give any more than one word answers as he cleaned up his mother’s house—dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping even. I grew tired just watching him yet Gerard never seemed to tire. His face had a look of sad determination as he tried to get rid of every little spatter, scuff, and stain in his home. By the time he gave up and sank to the floor, it was four-thirty.

“You really didn’t have to stay, Frank,” Gerard whispered, lying on the living room carpet as if he saw himself unworthy to sit on the couch or chairs for some reason.

“I was worried about you.”

“Why?”

“Because,” I said, coming to sit down next to him on the floor.

“Why?” Gerard asked, sounding baffled as if the answer were really unimaginable to him.

“’Cause you’re funny…and cool. I don’t know. I just like you,” I said, shrugging.

“Hey… Frank...Can i tell you something?” He asked, i nodded and waited for him to continue. 

“My Mom… She hits a lot, you know? But… That’s not what bothers me. It’s the things she says sometimes. They’re just really awful,” Gerard said, staring off into the distance. His eyes were fixed on the wall, but he saw straight through it—seeing everything and nothing all at once.

I was horrified but intrigued. How could someone hurt this beautiful creature? 

“What did she say?” I asked, gently coaxing Gerard into opening up.

“She said she wishes I was never born. She says it a lot, you know, but…yesterday she meant it. She really does hate me. It's not her fault… She’s sick… She needs me though, i can't ever leave.”

“Does Mikey know?” I asked, unsure. 

“No… You can’t tell him. He doesn't know about anything our mother does. He doesn't need to know…. Please” Gerard practically begged me. 

I hummed and scooted a little closer to Gerard, reaching out to touch his shoulder. I didn’t know why I expected the touch to change anything, but Gerard sighed softly regardless as if comforted. It made sense, I assumed. After being struck countless times, a touch that didn’t hurt was probably more than welcomed.

“You sure you don’t want to run by my place for some food?”

“I can’t,” He whispered, curling inward. “If she gets home and I’m not here… She’ll give me dinner tonight. She always does after…things like last night. And once she sees how clean the house is she won’t have anything to be upset about.” Gerard closed his eyes as if to hold in the thought and i just remained sitting with his hand on Gerard’s shoulder until it became apparent that he’d fallen asleep.

Not wanting to get caught by Mrs. Way when she came home, I stood up and grabbed my backpack off the floor before slipping out the front door and locking it, hoping Gerard would wake up soon.


	4. I'm not Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new character introduction *_*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys this is so badly written and I haven't updated in like 600 years

Frank’s point of view*

  
Everything was good for the next few weeks. Gerard, Mikey, Ray and i would all hung out at school, establishing dominance of the newly named ‘emo table’. Ever since Gerard told me about what was happening with his mom he had become a lot more comfortable around me.

Things were good. Well… until Wednesday that is.

As we walked into the canteen, emo formation on point. Mikey and Gerard walking side by side with Ray and myself trailing behind.

I had my headphones in at the time, completely zoned out to the world around me, oblivious to almost everyone in the room…. Almost everyone…. Not Gerard. I still payed attention to the way the light his hair through the glass topped ceiling, and the way he looked at the ground to avoid eye contact. I still payed attention to the fact he had a huge bruise on the back of his neck just underneath his hair line, it was slightly covered by his collar, but I could still see.

I frowned and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I pulled up the reminders app and quickly typed in to remember to bring Gerard some of the natural healing cream for bruises my grandma sent me.

Just as I had finished typing the last word I realised that our group had stopped walking. By realised I mean I walked into the back of Mikey….   
Another thing I realised was that almost everyone was staring at me. I yanked one of my earbuds out, instantly regretting it.

'FRANKKKKIE!” _Oh god no_ , I thought to myself, _please god no_. 

I looked up and to my dismay God was not as kind and I'd hoped. Stood about 4 foot away was a small girl, about 5ft, around my height. She was wearing a red shirt with a black tie, school uniform style, along with a black and red pleated skirt. This baffled me as we didn't actually have to wear a school uniform, she had appeared to just assign herself the dress code. It wasn't a very good dress code however as to accompany this strange choice of outfit she had on knee high black boots.

I looked away hoping she hadn't seen me, despite the fact she had called my name.

“OH MY GOD FRANKIE THAT IS YOU!” She yelled it again, approaching our group, pushing past Gerard almost making him lose his balance.

I looked straight at her, giving her my best “fuck off” glare. She disregarded it closing the space between us, embracing me in an awkward hug.

“Fuck you,” I spat at my attacker, my words lathered with nothing but venom. I struggled against the girl's grip on me as i was held against my will in the middle of the canteen. 

“Frankie that's not nice,” the girl said pouting. Finally i struggled free of her grip and took a few steps backwards, a huge mistake. I had walked straight into the biggest jock, and apparently a new found friend of the girls.

Before I knew what was happening I was being hoisted up, by arms behind my back, defenceless.

“That's no way to talk to a lady iero,” he said in a deep rough voice. I winced and struggled. “Do you want me to sort this punk out for you Chelsea?”

“You mother fucker,” Igrowled through gritted teeth. I struggled against the older boy’s grip on me as I was held up, my feet barely touching the ground beneath me.

“What are you gonna do about it?” The boy, Jenkins, laughed as I struggled, his words harsh and loathing as he mead butted my head forwards wards, my skull painfully colliding with the empty shell of his. I winced, a string of cuss words echoing throughout the crowded and silent canteen . “I said: what the fuck are you gonna do about it?” Jenkins growled.

“Fuck, go away! Leave me alone, you jerk!” I all but begged, yelling as my legs swung under me. However I refused to look at the girl before me. Refused to ask her to call off this attack.

I’m not going away that easily,” Jenkins smirked, pushing me to the floor balling up his fist behind his head. I quickly caught my breath and pulled my legs to my chest as I spluttered.

Apparently Chelsea has become bored of this game now and she shook her head.

“Leave him alone Jennings it's fine, he can say sorry later.” She smiled slyly and I cringed away. She bent down to where my phone had flew out of my pocket and picked it up. Quickly she pressed buttons and typed letters, all to fast for me to follow what she was doing or what she was typing.

“Bye frankie,’ she said tossing the phone back at me, letting it clutter to the floor. I lay with my face pressed against the floor and my legs pulled up to my chest as I watched her perfectly polished boots skip away.

  
“My name is Frank,” is all i whispered after her. I stood then, brushing my hands over my shirt to attempt to get rid of the creases and dirt.

Without a second look, I started to walk away. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but i knew one thing; I sure as hell wasn’t staying in that place any longer. This would not be like my last school. I couldn't do it again…. Not with her again...

  
As i headed out of the school doors and towards the gate, I could hear my name being called by Mrs. Clare, who had apparently got the principle to assist her.

I managed to walk about a block when I realized how much shit I was going to be in for that. “Fuck,” i groaned. “Yeah, like they would have listened to me anyway.”  
i sighed. Obviously it wasn't really them i was worried about, it was my new friends. They where gonna want answers, answers i didn't want to give.

  
I began to feel a familiar ball of anger building up and knotting itself in my stomach. Anger I only felt around her. I ran a hand through my hair roughly. “Nobody fucking listens.” Picking up pebbles and throwing them, i was talking to nobody in particular. “Fuck you all,” i muttered, dropping the stones in my hands and kicking a lamppost. I let out a deep breath before picking up the pace and heading towards my home.

  
“I’m back!” I yelled as to no one as I closed the front door. I knew my mom was at work so the house was empty… sighing I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. The first thing i did was sit down at my newly coffee-stained desk that was cluttered with cigarette butts and ashes. I pulled out my sketchbook from one of the drawers. After a few minutes of searching for a working pen, I began to write.

I wasn’t entirely sure what he was writing, but I knew that it helped to clear my head without having to take it out on myself or anyone else.

  
I stared down at the once blank page underneath me and scanned quickly over the words i had written. My lips seemed to twitch upwards into a sort of distorted smile, my grip tightening on the pen I was holding.

_What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?_  
I'm not okay  
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means  
I'm not okay  
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I closed the book, a sort of satisfaction running over me. Unaware of how much time had passed, I had some sort of idea when my stomach began to groan at me. remembering to put my notebook back into the drawer; if anybody read what was in there, I'm sure a trip to the town’s Asylum would be on the agenda.

After slipping off my shirt and jeans, i began to search through the endless piles of clothes on the floor. We had only been here a few months but I had already trashed my room.

After pulling out a pair of black sweats and a jumper and putting them on, I proceeded unwillingly out of my bedroom and back down the stairs. Unsure of entering the kitchen in case my mom was home, I hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. I didn't want to explain what had happen today…. I didn't want to explain anything. There were no loud noises.

Realizing that there was nobody in the kitchen, I began to look through cupboards, only to see that they were all empty. I laughed, it was fucking typical. In my annoyance, i sat down in one of the chairs, when something on the kitchen table caught my eye. Examining the small, rectangular piece of paper, I saw that it was a note.

_Frank, I've had to go away to a conference for a few days I'll be back on_ Monday,

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I loved my mom, I really did, but she was never around.

_I’ve left you some money for necessities in the cabinet above the stove. I’m sure it’ll be more than enough to last until i get back. – Mom_.

After sitting there for a few minutes, I managed to stand. Hesitantly, I made my way over to the cupboard, opening it a bit too quickly and almost pulling the door off its hinges. The first thing I laid eyes on was the brown envelope on the bottom

“Five hundred dollars,” I stated. “Well, fuck me sideways, what did I do to deserve this....”

As I examined the money, unsure of what to do at that moment in time, it became clear when i felt a small pain in my stomach, reminding me of the whole reason i ventured into the kitchen in the first place; food. Noting that the clock on the microwave said it was almost six, I decided to order pizza. Besides, they delivered after five-thirty, so I wouldn’t need to leave the house at all.

I snorted when he heard the voice on the end of the line, reciting the company’s name.   
“Hello, this is Pizza Pan. What can I do for you?”

“Hey, Pizza Pan, is Captain Cook there?” I mocked, the opportunity too big to miss. I heard the guy on the phone let out a frustrated sigh, and I decided to just order my food before i risked it being spat in. “Yeah, uh. Can I get a large veggie pizza and a soda delivery please?”

After placing my order, I decided I wanted to watch a film, so I made his way upstairs to raid my shelves before my food was delivered. After debating between Night of the Living Dead and Pet Cemetery, i chose the latter and headed back in the direction of the stairs, only to stop as i passed the doorway of his mom's bedroom. The wardrobe was open, but I figured that was because of her last minute packing.

I sighed standing in the doorway for a few minutes. I missed my mom. The quietness in the house far too eerie and making the situation of being stood in a dim doorway seem almost horror-film worthy. Suddenly a banging on the front door echoed throughout the house, startlingly me.

“Shit,” I whispered to myself, throwing a hand onto my chest in panic.

I opened the front door a little too enthusiastically, causing the pizza delivery guy to jump and almost drop the pizza he was holding.

“That’ll be, uh, ten dollars,” he smirked at me, holding out the box towards me.

“Sure, hold on, I’ll go grab some money....wait… Mikey is that you?” I stopped turning to run to the kitchen, and stood dumbfounded.

“Hey frank, haha how are you?” He gave me a half smile, still holding out the pizza.

I hesitated, then took note of the goose bumps forming on his arms from the cold.

“Man, do you wanna come inside while I pay? It looks shitty out there. I didn't even know you worked for the pizza place...” I was so confused as I moved out of the way so he could enter.

“ I don't,” he said looking at the floor blushing slightly. “I came over to check on you, I bumped into the pizza guy on my way to the door, this pizza is payed for.”

“Fuck, hold on, I'll Grab some money and pay you back.” I turned quickly and ran to the kitchen.  
“You can sit in the living room if you want, take the pizza goodness with you.” I yelled from the kitchen.

  
When I returned, I held out a twenty dollar bill in front of mikey who was sat on the edge of the sofa with a slice of pizza hanging out of his mouth, examining the DVD I had previously thrown into the living room before I’d answered the door.

“Nice movie choices,” he grinned, his eyes glancing up to Me and then fixing on the money as he took it from my hand. “I owe you change,” he said ,with a wink, as he remembered the twenty dollar bill he was holding in his other hand.

“Thanks, but you can keep it” I smiled as he picked up the pizza box to inhale the cheesy-vegetable goodness. I plopped down on the floor next to the coffee table staring at the delicious food in front of me

  
Mikey chuckled, and watched and i tore apart a slice of pizza in an incredibly unattractive manner.

“Huh? don't laugh at me,” i said around a mouth full of pizza. “Here eat more.” I held the box out to him watching him take a huge bite out of the slice.

Once it was devoured and both Mikey’s and my own hunger was taken care of, i slumped back into the sofa, pulling a blanket over myself to watch the last half hour of the film.

We watched in silence until the end of the film, when Mikey turned to me I knew what was coming.

“Frank, about today-”

"I don't wanna talk about it, please Mikey.” I begged, hoping it would be enough.

“Okay, but how are you?”

“Honestly, I'm not okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have Twitter btw guys so you can stalk me @furiouspenguin3 and find out the reasons for my shitty updating skills


	5. Don't say anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i got a new key board so i'm sorry for the awful punctuation and stuff in this chapter >-

*Frank's point of view* 

  
After I’d slumped back into the sofa, pulling a blanket over myself to watch the last half hour of the film, I had fell asleep just before the credits, my consciousness twisting into dream world.

_ I found myself back at school (my old school); in Algebra class, to be specific. Everything was silent, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good silence or not. Was I alone? Where was everybody? Confused and curious, I stood from my seat, only to trip when I tried to take a step. I looked down, only to see the thing he’d tripped on was Jenkins. Why was he here? What was happening?  _

_ My clothes were blood-soaked and torn, and I was suddenly aware that I’d just tripped over the dead body of the person who had messed with me earlier that day. I loathed Jenkins. Wait what? No. I didn’t… Where had all of this hate come from?  _

_ As I glanced around the room, I realized that we were the only people in the room. What had happened here? _

_ The silence was interrupted by the sound of a gun being fired, startling me. My head snapped towards the doorway of the classroom as somebody walked past, and I called out after them.  _

_ Hey, wait up!” I ran out of the classroom, following the direction that the person had gone in. _

_ “Hey, Frank,” the person smirked, her hand wrapped around a gun as she stood in the middle of the hallway.I spun around on my heel, coming face to face with a very murderous looking Chelsea. She reached forward, taking my hand and placing the gun firmly in it. Then she was gone, leaving me with the weapon. _

 

When I woke the next day, I was planning on skipping school. The last thing I wanted to do was face the wrath of Mrs. Clare; so instead, I reluctantly pulled the blanket from over me and moved to sit on the edge of the sofa. 

Cringing at the pain the sofa has caused my back i stumbled into the kitchen, looking for any form of liquid to drink. As i approached the kitchen table i saw a small square of paper with what appeared to be Mikey’s hand writing sprawled over it. 

_ Hey man, thanks for the pizza , i'm sorry about my invasion of privacy last night. I didn't mean to be so forward… i hope i didn't make things super awkward between us. I showed myself out this morning. - Mikey _

I scratched my head and pondered this note for a second. What the hell had happened last night? All i could think about was that awfully crappy dream. I brushed it off and grabbed myself a bottle of water.  

Shivering, I made my way to the bathroom and turned the shower on. Before stepping in, i stretched, wincing as my back clicked painfully. I felt as though all of my joints had been dislocated and were popping back into place every time I moved. The warm water hit my body and instantly relieved the pain and relaxed my joints.

Once dressed in my usual jumper and jeans, I grabbed my notebook from the drawer and shoved it into my bag, along with my phone and headphones. “Shit,” I muttered when I glanced at the clock, taking note of the time. With less than ten minutes until lessons would be starting, I accepted that my plan of skipping school had been a good one, even the time thought so. 

  
  


*Gerard's point of view*

I felt my heart sink when I noticed Frank wasn’t sitting on the floor by his locker doing homework like he was pretty much every morning. We hadn’t talked since the fight between Jenkins had happened. I had tried texting him last night, but he didn’t reply…. He just ignored me. Now he wasn’t even at school and i couldn’t help but wonder if he’d run away to avoid another conversation about his past.

Half of the day went by and all i thought about was Frank…. I wanted to know if he was okay… I needed to know. 

At lunch our group  sat together in the park instead of the canteen, eating fruit cups and potato chips. Mikey was practically half asleep, claiming he’d been up all night playing video games with Ray, though Ray didn’t seem to comment. 

I was awake, but only because I was in pain. My mother had whipped me that morning after finding the trash I had hidden in my bedroom from all the groceries I’d stolen from the various stores over the years. She hit me over and over with the belt until a few pin pricks of blood seeped through my boxers. Only then was she satisfied that I’d had learned my lesson and let me pull my jeans back up.

Sitting in the hard chairs at school all day had been unbearable, and the harsh pangs of hunger that struck me just made it all so much worse. 

“I hate Mr. Bukly,” Mikey said, breaking my train of thought.

“Oh yeah?” I  asked, hunkering down for another long story about Mr. Bukly the tenth-grade maths teacher who seemed to make it his personal mission to put Mikey in a bad mood every day.

“Today in class I was trying to take notes, but I got bored so I started sketching instead. Then he sees that and tells me I should pay attention—which I should. I know I should.” He went on and on about Mr. Burkey making him balance equations on the board.

“Yeah, that sucks, man,” I said, looking down at my empty fruit cup.

“Here, you can have these too,” Mikey said, sliding the bag of chips across the grass to me before lying back with his arms folded behind his head and closing his eyes. By the time I’d finished up the last of the fruit cups and chips, Mikey appeared to have fallen asleep.

“ Why is he so tired?” I asked Ray who appeared to be as confused as i was. 

“Must have been hanging with that chick, he mentioned yesterday. He said something about going to see her after school.” He shrugged. 

“But i thought he liked that guy from AD science?” I stated. 

“I dont know man. He’s hard to keep up with.” Ray said brushing it off, throwing a candy bar at me. 

I sighed and looked at Mikey as he slept, feeling a little more lonely with Mikey asleep beside me instead of awake. While Ray was nice, he was also a bit awkward and all conversation between us died within a few seconds of starting. However  I would never go so far as to wake Mikey up to counter that lonely feeling, though. 

Already lying on his side, I moved to lie on his back as well, but with my knees bent to keep my thighs off the ground. It was embarrassing to be sixteen and still get spanked of all things by my mother. I would’ve preferred that she hit my back or just slapped my face again and again to get her point across. Anything to spare me the humiliation of telling Mikey why he couldn’t sit still.

M Mikey was an all-around good person and I was so thankful to have him. I doubted I would’ve made it this far in life without Mikey there to support me. 

There had been more than one time that I had pulled Mikey aside at the end of the school day to tell him I was afraid to be alone because I  was considering giving our mother the gift she’d always wanted—my death.

*Frank's point of view* 

I had never been the popular kid in school. I’d never even dreamed of having the chance. Yeah my clothes were name brand, but no one ever looked at me enough to tell. 

I had taken myself away from the house i had started to cage myself into. Luckily for me we had a small woodland area around the back of our house, past the pool and through the gap in the fence. I found it when we first moved into this house. My favorite part about this woodland area was the fact that behind it was a huge lake. It was very pleasing to sit beside with my sketch pad and scribble whilst looking at the calming depths. 

It was about a 5 minute walk from the end of the garden to my favorite spot but it was worth  it. Once i had wandered through the damp of the woods i set up camp with my sketch book and oreos for the long  day of sitting and staring that i had ahead of me. 

This started me thinking, i was the odd one out, never good enough for anybody, never worthy of even dreaming that one day i might catch someone’s eye. I wonder if i’d caught Gerard’s eye. I wonder if he really did like me, or if he was just idolising me for being kind to him… 

Suddenly my hand went to the folded up note in my pocket; the one from Mikey. Had he stayed the whole night? What had happened? What was he being forward about? There were so many questions running through my head. The main one being why couldn’t i remember last night? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have Twitter btw guys so you can stalk me @furiouspenguin3 and find out the reasons for my shitty updating skills  
> also i update when i post there so enjoy :)


	6. Life styles of the rich and the Famous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life style of the rich and the famous- Good Charlotte   
> i wasn't sure what to call this chapter in all honesty and i only chose this song because it was about breaking and entering haha.   
> hope you guys enjoy.   
> also i promise there will be more frerard.

*Frank’s point of view*

I had spent all day down by the lake, hidden from the world. I had nothing better to get back to. It wasn’t like i had my mom waiting for me at home…. 

I had sat for hours trying to remember the events of last night. The events that caused Mikey to leave that note. By the time it had started to get dark i had almost driven myself insane, written 5 pages worth of crazy shit in my sketch pad, and still had drawn a blank.

At about 7pm i started to head back up to the empty and darkened house. Practically the second I walked through my front door my phone rang. I took a moment to put my bag down and pulled my phone from my pocket. Looking at the lit up screen the phone showed the words 'unknown number' I looked at it puzzled for a second, then answered it.

"Umm...h-hello?" I said, waiting for the reply at the other end of the phone. As soon as the reply came I heard a familiar, and unwelcome, voice at the other end.

‘Frankie!!’ Her voice went straight through me, making me physically stiffen. 

‘What do you want Chelsea?’ I said in a bittersweet tone. 

‘Well tomorrows friday i thought we could make up for lost time sweetie.’ She droned making me roll my eyes. 

‘No thanks,’ quickly i hung up the phone, that was not a path i was going to go down again… 

Seconds after i’d hung up my phone flashed again. There was a text that read; 

Frankie dont be like this. You can’t be mad forever. Meet me tomorrow.

I sighed and put my phone back in my pocket, wondering how she’d even go my number. all of a sudden remember that once lunch ended , after my wonderful encounter with a jerk of a jock, she had taken my phone. So that’s what she was doing…  
I just shook my head and dragged myself upstairs. Sadly for me I really did need to get on with a 5 page essay my twat of an English teacher had given me. After flipping on the loudest album of my collection i turned up my stereo and made a start.

I spent over an hour doing my homework, although I really couldn't concentrate. I just wanted to get it finished quickly so that i’d never have to think about it again. I had better things to worry about.

Around 8 o'clock I had completely given up and i just lay on my bed listening to track after track. Just as the album had finished and i was left in silence, starting to drift off into a soft sleep i heard a loud crash. 

Instantly i jumped up and looked around my room. I grabbed the closest thing to me, which just so happened to be my model lightsaber…. 

Slowly i creeped out of my room. I was not in the fucking mood for being robbed. Not today. 

*Gerard’s point of view*   
The rest of the day had killed all hope of seeing frank. I thought maybe he would come in late… but i think i knew deep down he never would. 

Mikey and Ray left me after lunch to go to their geography class, i went to art. Usually i'd enjoy art… but usually frank was there. 

By the end of the day i had driven myself insane about things that frank could be getting up to… what if he was in trouble...he probably wasn't. 

I just couldn't help but wonder. Another thing i couldn't help but wonder about was that girl… the one in the fake school uniform. What connection was she to frank. Why had he looked at her with so much hatred. 

I was thinking about this while walking to meet Mikey, it was my day to go to dads. I was quickly broken out of my thoughts as i saw Mikey, rejecting a pretty brunette he’d been pining after for three months straight. 

I stayed back for a few seconds, out of his eye sight and watched as he politely unhooked her arm from around his shoulders and asked her nicely to leave him alone. 

After a while, once the girl had left, I slowly walked over to him. He was leaned up against a wall, slouched over as he waited. Once he saw me however he straightened up and plastered a huge goofy smile. 

“Hey brotha,” he greeted me with playful slang. “Ready to see dad?”

I shrugged and returned his big smile with a small one of my own.I decided that it was best not to ask about the girl, not yet. While Mikey was usually quite open about his relationships and interests , this was clearly something he did not want to talk about. 

So instead I decided to see if he had heard anything from Frank since yesterday.However I had come to the decision that it would be better to ease into the question, just incase Mikey got suspicious. 

“Hey Mikey. How was your day?” I asked.

“Eh it was okay, i got to see that brown haired hottie in maths though.” He said winking at me. The lie caught me off guard, I never thought he would lie about a girl to me, I didn’t think he’d lie about anything to me… 

“Oh, that’s always a plus i suppose,” I tried to play it off and get to the objective of my small talk. “So have you seen Frank today?” 

My spontaneous question about Frank must have surprised Mikey as a flash of vulnerability flashed in a light blush that appeared.

“No, I think he might be sick today….” Mikey laughed, “Why so curious?”

I shrugged again, my suspicion high. Why would Mikey blush? Bluh?! As if he had something about frank he was hiding…. What could he be hiding? Where him and Frank a thing now? How? They hardly spent any time together…. Frank hasn't even shown any interest in Mikey! 

We silently left the school and remained in silence as we walked to our farther house. My mind was racing with all sorts of questions. About mikey, about frank, abou mikey and frank…. It was driving me insane and it was clearly putting me in a bad mood. By the time we got to the house Mikey and I hadn’t spoken one word to each other. 

It was weird to be distant from my brother…. But i didn’t know what else to do. 

*Mikey’s point of view* 

Gerard was being weird. There is no nice way to put it… 

By the time we got home he hadn’t said one word to me, not even when we saw a small kitten walking on the sidewalk, nothing. As soon as we got home he went straight down to his basement room and slammed the door. I’m pretty sure if doors could bleed that door would be dead. 

He didn’t come up for dinner, and by 7pm i had accepted he never would. Owing to this fact i began to get frustrated. All i could think about was what was wrong with Gerard, and of course my other weighing problem, Frank. 

I needed to get out of this suffocating house. Being near Gerard room made me feel as if i was being consumed by a thick dark fog. I made my decision to leave the house. I grabbed my bag and left, slamming the door hard behind me for no reason in particular. 

I bitterly trudged down the sidewalk on my away from me home. It was bad enough that one of the idiot newbies at school had decided to spill a juice all over my shirt—which later got me detention for cursing the guy off in front of all the class peers —but it just also had to be raining on the one day my brother decided to be a dick. I didn’t bring an umbrella. 

I started walking with no certain destination, i just knew i had to get away. It came as no surprise when i ended up outside of Franks overly large house. I stood and stared at it for a few minutes. The house was huge for two people, one of which was never home. 

Speaking of not being home, there appeared to be no lights on in the house. It wouldn't be all that weird if it hadn't just began to get dark… Maybe Frank was out… 

 

The house was dazzling; in the sun set the windows shone like many suns. The house was incredibly modern and gave an air of tension and stuck u ignorance, the kind of atmosphere you feel at an art gallery. Where you are allowed to look but not touch. 

 

Inside the living room was a very large space, high ceilinged and imperious.Bay windows ran from floor to ceiling while white Ionic columns marked the alcoves and arched exits that dotted the room's perimeter at regular intervals.

Wide glass doors led inside from the first floor vestibule and the main staircase: the balcony was accessible from the opposite side, though the windows were locked in place. I wasn't quite sure why frank and his mom even needed a balcony, it wasn’t like frank went outside to smoke...

The balcony itself towered over the wrap-around porch outside, giving onto a small manicured lawn.

 

Quickly i jogged up the path leading to the front door. First i decided to knock, but when that didn’t work i had no other choice but to try the handle. With the darkness approaching fast i had a nagging urge to get inside. I slowly twisted the handle and to my surprise the door slid open.   
Quietly i walked into the large black and white hall way and slide along the wall trying to find my way in the darkened room. It was ironic how in a house made of glass i had managed to pick the only room with no windows in it to sneak around in. 

To my dismay Frank had apparently chosen today to leave his school bag in the middle of the hall, and i tripped face first into a coffee table with neat ornaments flying everywhere. If anyone was home they sure as hell knew I was too. 

I stood silently and listened. That’s when i heard it. Foot steps. I was fucked.


	7. Don't threaten me with a good time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't threaten me with a good time- panic! at the disco  
> sorry, I took so long to update college is actually suffocating me :p

*frank’s pov*   
Slowly I crept towards the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. that's when I heard it,the loud shattering thud. It was the sound of someone falling. at first, I was confused, was this robber just the clumsiest person in the world or did he not care if he was caught?? then realization dawned on me, I had left my bag in the hall. Point Iero, I suppose.

At this point, subtlety meant nothing so quickly I ran down the stairs, lightsaber in hand. Without turning on the light I saw the dark figure and swung the lightsaber, hitting whoever it was hard in the stomach, making them double over. I had cracked the glass of the lightsaber replica at this point and I decided to finish off the job by bringing it swiftly on the attackers head, knocking them out cold. Rapidly I fumbled against the wall, searching for the light switch.Finally, finding it I switched it on illuminating the small hallway. I stared shocked into place. 

The person on the floor was not an intimidating burglar. he wasn't even intimidating. the small figure lay still on the wooden floor. With heavy steps, i approached the passed out brown haired boy. 

It as Mikey….

Mikey was lay in my hallway, passed out from a blow I had inflicted.hesitantly I stepped closer. I bent down to see if the boy was still breathing, and to my relief he was. 

 

‘well shit,’ i thought to myself. I must have stood that way for almost 10 minutes before I shook myself from my shocked state. ‘i can't leave him here…’ I thought to myself. I gave myself 2 minutes to form a plan and mentally prepare myself. I had no idea what I was going to do. finally, I decided to carry Mikey upstairs. the living room would have been closer, but I figured he deserved the comfort of a bed rather than an uncomfortable sofa. I mean that was the least I owed him. 

 

Getting him upstairs was difficult , but not impossible. at least not with the 50 breaks I took in between. overall it took me 10 minutes to get Mikey upstairs and onto my bed. I lay him across the sheets and went downstairs to get him some water for when he woke up. 

 

it took Mikey another 40 minutes to wake up,causing me severe anxiety the men time. I thought I had killed hi after the first 10 minutes of him being upstairs. 

 

Eventually, he woke.

“Frank,” I heard a soft voice coming room the opposite side of the room as I sat at my desk. Quickly I whipped my head around.“You really need to work on your greetings..” Mikey was awake, and already cracking jokes. 

 

“Mikey!” I practically ran to his side to see if he was okay. “I'm so sorry”

 

“See, that's more like it,” He smiled “what did you hit me with anyway?”

 

“... a lightsaber” I muttered under my breath. 

 

Mikey laughed. “That sounds like something Gerard would say” He giggled. 

 

Although it was meant to be a passing comment Gerard’s name brought a blood rush to my cheeks. Just his name made me blush… What’s happening to me?

*Mikey's pov*

 

Although this wasn't the way I had pictured being in franks bed that night it wasn't too bad. 

he spent hours apologizing, while I lay on his queen sized bed and lapped up the attention. as it began to get later we ordered a pizza and watched a movie. by 12am frank was practically falling asleep. 

 

it was adorable to see him try to fight his drooping eyelids. eventually, he gave in and the tiredness overtook. I was grateful to the fact we had spent all night in frank's room, resulting in hm falling asleep in his bed rather than me having to drag him upstairs. 

 

I slid closer to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek. then I smoothly slid out of the bed and left the room. I found franks key left on the kitchen side and took it. after quickly locking the house up from the outside I posted the keys back through the letterbox so that frank wasn't locked inside, then I made a start home.

 

*franks pov* 

 

After wearing me down I finally agreed to hang out with her. It was the day after everything with Mikey had happened and I thought ‘ey what else could go wrong’.

 

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something,” Chelsea said as she handed me a bowl of plain ramen. We were hanging out at her apartment after school and we had already walked the pug leaving the dog sleepy and uninterested in me. A little dejected, I sat on the couch and watched television with my... friend, I guess, who had been going on and on about a girl she had a crush on.

 

Although I was still slightly mad a Chelsea for what she did to me I had forgiven her a bit since then. I understood why she did it, well a bit. By accepting and moving on I actually remembered how fun she was to be around. Not only this but she also gave me an excuse to leave the house where my mom was wasting her last few weeks in bed. 

 

“What?” I asked, shifting around to cradle the bowl in a way that wouldn’t burn me so I could stir the noodles. They had no seasoning or sauce and I knew they would be bland, but I was hungry and knew I definitely wouldn’t eat when I got home.

 

“There’s a party tomorrow night at Kristen’s house. Do you want to come?”  
“I… I don’t know,” I said,feeling just as empty and unflavoured as my noodles. I’d been to parties with Chelsea before and they didn’t always turn out well. Not only this but due to my neglect to learn people’s name in this school I had no idea who this Kristen was. If I went, more likely than not I would just get picked on. or worse… I’d get incredibly drunk and end up face down in some randomers bed.

 

“I wouldn’t know anybody.”

 

“Well, duh—that’s why you go! To meet people.” Chelsea sat down next to him and stirred her own bowl of ramen. “And I’ll be there. I promise I won’t ditch you unless Chloe asks me to go upstairs with her—and we both know she’s not gonna do that.”  
“I’d have to tell my mom ,” I mumbled.

“I’m sure she’ll let you come. I’ll even tell her Kristen’s parents are gonna be there if she asks.” Chelsea smiled at me and I felt compelled to smile back. 

 

Parties made me nervous and I didn’t want to tell my mom i was leaving her alone again. She was going to start catching on that i didn’t want to be around her.

 

since she had told me the news about her cancer i had tried to avoid her as much as possible. It’s not that i don’t love her it’s just i can’t be around someone i love so much knowing i only have 3 weeks left with them. It’s just easier to be on my own to deal with it.

 

“I don’t know…We both know we end up pretty bad after going out to parties together.”

 

“All the more reason she’ll let you go. I can ask for you if you’re gonna be a baby,” Chelsea said, nudging my arm with her elbow until she got me to smile. “It’ll be fun, I promise—and if you don’t like it, I’ll take you home no complaints.”

 

“Are you sure?” I asked. It wouldn’t feel so bad if things went wrong and I could go home, but when the moment came would I really be able to ask her to leave the party? Probably not… I never could before.

 

“It’ll be fine, Frankie! Why are you so nervous?”

 

“No one likes me… If I went there, no one would even talk to me.”

 

“I’d talk to you—and there’s gonna be kids who don’t go to our school there, so they won’t know your reputation. And besides—everyone’s gonna be too drunk to care, Frankie! You don’t even have to drink if you don’t want to. I won’t force it on you. I really just want you to come. It’d be good to get you out of the house for a while.”

 

“Fine,” I said.

 

“Don’t sound so unhappy. It’s a party, not a funeral!”

 

“Yay,” I said sarcastically before slurping up a mouthful of ramen.

 

************************************************************

 

I stood in the corner of the strange living room trembling and holding on to a bottle of beer. Chelsea had promised she wouldn’t leave him, but not thirty minutes into the party she’d slipped away with a girl. She said she’d be back in just a minute, but that was almost an hour ago… As usual he was left by her. 

 

I nervously took a sip from the beer and cringed internally. I hated beer. It was weird—not exactly bitter but far from sweet. It left my tongue feeling dry and against my better judgement I took another sip. This time I shuddered at the bad taste.

 

There was loud pop music blasting over the speakers so everyone in the crowded living room had to scream at one another instead of talking. It put my nerve on edge, but Chelsea said if I would just drink a little I would be able to calm down. I’d already smoked a cigarette on the way to the party and then another just outside before coming in. She’d said those would help but I was still anxious. I can’t believe i’d let her talk me into this.   
After scanning the room once again for Chelsea and catching no sight of her, I forced myself to chug the bottle of beer and headed for the kitchen to get another. I didn’t want to leave her behind—my mom had always told me it was bad for guys to leave the girl they came with unattended at a party—but I couldn’t see spending the rest of my night cowering in the corner like a kicked dog.

 

In the kitchen, a group of five girls were standing around the bottles and cups on the counter and I hesitated a moment before swallowing the lump in my throat and going over to them. I didn’t recognize any of them and prayed they didn’t know anything about me, but so far no one had really even acknowledged me.  
When I reached the counter, the girls stopped talking all at once and then looked me up and down, one of them starting grin. Once the other four saw her smiling, they began to smile as well.

 

“Hey—my friend Emily makes a wicked Long Island. Do you want to try?” The tallest of the five girls asked, looking over at the girl who had first started smiling at me.  
“Um, yeah. Sure—that sounds great actually,” I said, trying to sound casual. I knew where this was going and i also knew i wouldn’t be able to get up in the morning. 

 

“Awesome,” the tall girl said, giggling and grabbing one of the red plastic cups.  
The first girl—a short, blonde girl in a pink tank top—started grabbing bottles and pouring them into the cup. I looked away for a moment, hoping Chelsea would return before I did something to make a fool of myself, and when I looked back the blonde girl was handing me the cup.  
“I hope I didn’t make it too strong,” she said, waiting anxiously for he to take a sip. Foolishly I hadn’t been watching what she had put in the cup and i knew immediately it was not a long island she’d just handed me.

 

I took a small drink and found it sweet—but not too sweet—and then almost immediately sour, and although I could taste the alcohol it wasn’t overpowering.

 

“Is it good?” The tall girl asked.

 

“Yeah,” I said, flashing a smile. The girls all started giggling and I felt his cheeks start to burn. In an attempt to hide it, I raised the cup and took another drink.

 

“So—what’s your name?” The blonde girl asked? She was smiling at me, a huge smile and I tried so hard to hide how nervous she made me.

 

“Uh…Frank.”

 

The girls laughed again.

 

“I know—not…not the best name in the world,” I said nervously. I could think of a lot of names more appealing than Frank. Any name was more appealing than Frank… Any name like maybe Gerard. 

 

“I like it,” the blonde girl said. Her friends busted out laughing and I took another drink, unsure of how to respond. In the end I settled for asking her if the name I’d heard before—Emily—was actually her name. She said it was and then started making herself a drink. Without any prompting, she made me another drink and I felt compelled to finish the very full cup still in my hand as quickly as possible.

 

For some reason that made the girls cheer. The girls talked amongst each other for a moment and then Emily smiled up at me and grabbed my free hand. I was so startled I flinched, splashing a little bit of my drink, but the girls just. kept. laughing.

 

“Come here—we’ll go dance!” Emily said, guiding me into the living area where all other kids were. I tried telling her that I really didn’t know how to dance—and really wouldn’t want to if I did—but she smiled at me so cheerfully that I couldn’t bring myself to let her down. For the most part, I discovered, I just had to stand there and drink while the girl rubbed against me. It was weird, but not so bad. When she demanded I dance, I just copied what the other guys did and put a hand on her hip while she pressed her back and hips against my abdomen.

 

After about three songs, I began to feel light-headed and the room appeared to be tilted slightly to the left. When I said so to Emily, she laughed and told me that meant I was dehydrated and needed to drink up—emphasizing her command by bringing my red cup to my lips and tilting the bottom until I’d swallowed half of the liquor left in it. I knew she was spouting bull shit but at this point i didn’t care. i couldn’t think straight let alone argue with someone who would persist. 

 

It was around that time the other girls returned and started asking me if I came with any friends—if I had any brothers and what their names were. Why weren’t they at the party? Shy guys are just so cute they said.  
All the attention started to make me feel anxious and even Emily’s smiles weren’t enough to keep me calm. I didnt usually get attention at parties... Every now and then I would take a nervous sip of my drink until I realize, with a moan of displeasure, that the cup was empty.  
“Do you want more?” Emily asked, pulling me into the kitchen before I could even voice an answer. Every step just made me dizzier and dizzier until I fell against the counter, giggling as i did because instead of feeling stupid, Emily made me feel silly. She didn’t think my clumsiness was embarrassing, she almost seemed to find it cute. She said so enough times, anyway. 

 

I wished Gerard were here—I wanted to know if Gerard would think it was cute. I wondered if Gerard had ever gotten this drunk before!  
“Aw, we’re all out of Long Island mixer…”  
“Oh no,” I said, mocking Emily’s tone as she stared at the bottles.  
“Hm…I know! I’ll make you a Kitchen Sink.”  
“Oh god” I said, giggling because I knew I hadn’t misheard her, but believed that she had misspoken.  
“A Kitchen Sink,” she said, giggling at him. “It’ll look gross but I promise it’ll be super tasty.”

 

“I know what it is,” I said, shrugging and giggling. At this point, I doubted I could even taste anything anyway. I didn’t know how much time had actually passed because I swore the girls had only been talking to me a moment in the living room before I’d been taken to the kitchen, but the clock on the oven said it was already ten to midnight. looked like it was going to be a late one tonight—oh well! I didn’t want to go to school anyway although i had told mom id be home by midnight.

 

I started laughing almost hysterically, dropping my heated face down onto the cool counter in an attempt to stifle it. Emily asked what was so funny and I stupidly lied, responding by saying she was pretty. I couldn’t explain to her that defiance was funny when I knew my mom would never punish me for it.

 

And without Chelsea I really couldn’t leave. I pulled myself up off the counter and looked around for my friend. She was nowhere to be seen and though I felt a little worried, I wasn’t about to panic over it. Maybe she and that girl she liked were hooking up in the bedroom like she’d hoped.

 

The thought made me giggle and I was handed another red cup. Emily told me not to look at it, but I did. It was a murky, greenish brown.

 

“The juice makes it that color,” Emily said.

 

“Okay,” I said, giggling and taking a sip. It tasted god awful, and then left a sweet taste on my tongue that was only just bearable.

 

“Is it okay? I can add more juice if it’s too strong.”

 

“It’s fine,” I said, smiling at her and taking another sip. I didn’t want to upset her any. She seemed really nice. And i couldn't be bothered to find someone else to make my drinks 

 

So I stood with her in the kitchen and sipped at my terribly strong drink while she mixed vodka and orange juice together in her cup. I wished she would’ve made that for me instead of this nauseating Kitchen Sink, but I wasn’t going to ask her to trade.  
“I wish I had a cigarette,” I said after a period of silence between myself and Emily.  
“I have a pack. Do you wanna…get some fresh air?” She asked, smirking at me and pulling a pack of Marlboro Reds out of her back pocket. The box was all smashed up and squished from when she had been grinding back against me earlier, but a smoke was a smoke.

 

“Sure.”

 

We couldn’t smoke outside the front door because the neighbors might see so we stepped out onto the back porch which was shielded by white lattice work.  
I found it hard to focus, and with every puff on the cigarette I became more and more dizzy and short of breath. I was starting to feel nauseous but fought it. Cigarettes had never made me nauseous before…

 

I asked Emily where she was from and tried to listen to her tell a story about switching schools because of bullying but my head was spinning and I kept looking away at the ground. Every now and then she would ask me something—once asking my phone number but I couldn’t remember if I’d given it to her or not—but not often. For a little while we held hands—after I’d had given up on smoking the crushed up cig—but I didn’t think it felt right between them. It was awkward and uncomfortable.

 

I must’ve told her so because when I looked up from the ground there was no girl with me and my cup was empty again with no offer for a refill. Sitting in the dark all alone started to make me feel sad, and despite my long sleeved shirt and the burning of my cheeks from the alcohol, I felt cold.

 

After about 20 minutes I headed back into the party to look for Chelsea. it took me half an hour but i finally found her in a second loor bedroom making out with some girl on the bed. 

 

“Hey,” I yelled at her. “Chels!”

 

Finally she pulled away with an over the top sigh. 

 

“what?” She yelled over the music.   
“Let's go!” i yelled back. it took me an eternity to drag her out of the room and into the street. We where almost half way down the block when Chelsea saw a darkened house. 

 

“frankie!! oh my god look there's a pool in that house!!” she bursted into a fit of giggles and pointed in the direction of the house. there was no car in the drive indicating whoever lived there wasnt home. 

 

“We should go for a swim!” She yelled excited. Me, being drunk of course, thought this was an amazing idea. 

 

Quickly we ran over around the side of the house into the back yard. 10 minutes later and we were in the pool floating and swimming around. 

 

“So frankie,” she said, using the nick name i hated most. “You never told me why you did move here, i mean you know why i moved.”

 

I sighed, in my drunken state i really didn’t want to think about it let alone talk about it. However i knew she would find out one way or another, and I’d prefer she go the real story rather than one some stupid kid from my old school warped.


	8. looking like you just woke up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> looking like you just woke up- the front bottoms.   
> follow me on twitter for regular updates.   
> @furiouspenguin3

We lay floating for a while until I was finally able to find my words. 

 

‘Okay,’ i said, ‘ I’ll tell you’

 

‘ooo don’t spare any gory details’ Chelsea said, making me cringe. 

 

I swallowed and started the story.

 

“ As you know I hate school. Especially that school. Every day was the same. They push me in the halls and they shove me against lockers. Feet stuck out here and there to trip me or mean 'kick me' signs stuck onto my back. Sometimes, they yanked my hair because it was ‘too long’ .” I choked on the lump in my throat from the memory, but continued anyway. 

 

“They called me names or threw things at me. They'd laugh or whisper or point while others would stare. They called me names and I was beaten up more times then I can count. I was a little chubby and they picked on me for that.”

 

“I was so sick and tired of their shit. One day in the lunchroom they poured my tray into my lap, every one pointed at me and laughed. I wanted to pull into myself and just become invisible. This cute little punk boy,Dave, I think his name was, came over to help me and it made my heart leap. He invited me to sit with him at lunch with him and his friends the next day. clearly i was stupid because i couldn’t see the obvious intentions behind it.” Tears were rolling down my cheeks at this point. 

 

“Frankie it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” Chelsea said, but I ignored her and carried on with my story. 

 

“After a week of sitting with them at lunch, he invited me to his house. We were in his bedroom watching tv. I was still shy and pretty much quiet. ‘You don't say much, do you, Frank?’ He questioned me. I shook my head in and he slid closer to me and pushed my hair out my face. ‘You shouldn't hide behind you hair, you are to pretty to,’ he said to me. It didn't matter that I didn't believe him. He was the only person who was nice to me.” 

 

i sighed and jumped out of the pool sitting on the edge. “He leaned in pressing his lips to mine, I went stiff and froze. He pulled back and whispered, ‘it's, okay,Frank. I am not going to bite you.’ I trusted him, I let him kiss me. I was timid at first but then I let him slide his tongue into my mouth. He caressed my back and soon I became braver letting my hands run over his sides and back.”

 

“Whoa okay, that's to much detail Frankie, I,” Chelsea said cringing. 

 

“ sorry, you can figure out what happened from there. anyway, he didn’t talk to me since I left his house and I couldn’t wait to hear his voice. I entered the school, for the first time feeling not so lost. It didn't take me long to realize people are pointing at me more than normal and laughing even louder. ‘Oh, baby,’ some of the guys say, blowing kisses and making sex noises. One of the girls calls me a slut. They are all making moaning sounds at me and calling out things I had moaned out to Dave.” I let a tear run down my cheek again, feeling the air shift as Chelsea came to sit beside me and place an arm around my shoulder. 

“I was so confused, I wanted to know how they knew? I hadn't told anyone. Turns out someone was hidden in the closet recording it. I ended up running to the bathroom. I cried for long a time before I finally came out of the bathroom. At lunch, I went to him and his friends and ask them how they could have done this to me. He just pushed me, calls me a bitch and laughed. His friends laughed at me too,  
“I’m sorry Frankie,” Chelsea said, not a hint of her usual sarcasm in her voice. 

 

“I felt the tears well up in my eyes while his voice taunted me, making them fall. he just looked me dead in the eye and yelled loud enough for everyone to hear. ‘Awww, what's the matter, crybaby? Did you really think I gave a fuck about you?’. I ran out of the lunchroom. Later on, some of the jocks caught me in the halls, they began pushing me and shoving me. "Oh, look what we have here?" They teased me. "A little faggot. You liked taking it up the ass, didn't you? You are a fucking pussy." They were all laughing and I couldn't take it anymore and I pushed one of the back. He balled up his fist and bashed it into my face. There were a loud crack and pain shot throughout my entire face. I realized quickly that he'd broken my jaw.” 

 

“Shit Frankie I’m sorryI brought it up.” 

 

“It's okay we should talk about something else, though,” I said sighing and sliding into the pool once more.

 

*Gerard’s pov*

 

I had hear Mikey leave the house on friday… i hadn't bothered to see where he was going tho. Instead i lay in by bed with a small sketch pad. I sat for almost ten minutes unable to think of a muse to draw. My motivation was at an all time low. Was all i could think about, he was all that was on my mind. 

 

Eventually, I gave up and placed my sketch ped back in the desk near the bed. 

 

Soon it would be time to go back home…   
**************************************************************  
It was Saturday and i had safely been distributed back to my mothers house. She was never home on a Saturday, it was the day she went out to fancy liquor stores to get her drink for the rest of the week. 

 

Saying goodbye to my dad wasn't as hard as you’d imagine. After 12 in years of doing it, i had become numb to the feeling of his abandonment. 

 

with a heavy heart, i unlocked the door. this was it, home sweet home. 

 

we had a small house, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a small living area and kitchen. as you walk in through the door you’re met with a small narrow stair case. the white wash walls were bland with no family pictures or any indication that a family lived there. it was a sad sight.

 

as you walk past the staircase there are two doors. one to thee kitchen, the other to the bland living area. much like the stair and hallway, the living area was empty other than a sofa pressed up against the back wall.

 

the house overall was a depressing stat. a spotless depressive state thanks to me.

 

I didn't resent or hate my mother, though. I knew she was just sick. it wasn't her fault I was born, after all, she had never asked for me…

 

*franks pov*

 

I stumbled in at around 3 in the morning, trying to be as quiet as possible and failing. the loud rattling of my keys sounded like a gunshot in the unmoving silent house. me and I gave up my pathetic attempt to keep quiet and do my keys down on the small door side table.

 

I don't bother going to bed. I knew what the outcome of that would be. Nothing. I went to the small liquor cabinet we kept in the living room and pulled out 3 bottles. I got my bag from the hallway and still the bottles into the Narrow space available.

 

Emir quietly in the dark, only sound- the soft clanking of the bottles and my jacket breathing I moved over to the large sliding doors at back of the house. See my destination. Human sized parking in The Thick Woods at the end of our garden. That knows where I was getting. My salvation. 

 

In my drunken state, I clumsily slid the doors open. I left the back door open and made my way down to my spot by the lake.

 

It was darker than expected I could hardly see where was walking full stop smacking me in the face but at this point I didn't care. All that mattered to me with sliding spot by the lake where I can sit down and drown my sorrows. I should never have gone out tonight. I said never told her. I should never of said what had happened. It had pushed me over the edge. It was all too much. 

 

Finally I made my way through the thick branches of the trees full stop in the darkness of my way to the spot i knew was flat enough for me to sit. I place my bag down next to me the first bottle. 

 

Anywhere the time I got back home my mother would be at work. He always works Sundays and would be gone early comma probably before the sun was even up. 

 

In The Silence of the night, I would probably hear my mom's car leave in the morning

 

*****************************

 

By the time I had gotten through all 3 bottles it was around 5 a.m. the sun had began to rise. I had heard my mom's car leaves around an hour and a half ago. 

 

Around this time (5 a.m.) I decided it was around time to go back inside, mainly because I've run out of the drink and it was getting chilly outside. 

 

I half walked, half crawled back to the house. When I managed to get to the back door, I had to pull myself up with the handle. 

 

I felt sick and lonely, I wished Gerard was here. Why couldn't I have him? Maybe if I called he would come. 

 

Without thinking I pulled out my phone and stumbled away from the house for no particular reason. 

 

I started to dial Gerard's number and held the phone to my ear.

 

“H-hello?” Gerard said in a beautifully sleepy voice. 

 

“Gerard,” I whined down the phone. “Come over” 

 

“Frank? Frank are you okay?” He asks in an adorably worried voice. 

 

“No come over” I whined again. “Its- it's cold outside”

 

“Outside? Why are you outside? It's so early…” 

 

“Gerard please, I need you” 

 

That was the last thing I remembered before passing out in the cold grass.

 

*Mikey's pov* 

 

I approached the house at around 2am. Franks mom clearly wasn't home from the empty parking space that usually held her car. I walked up to the door, remembering what Gerard has said about frank not being in the house. Instead of knocking I went to the door and tried the Handle, it was unlocked. 

 

“Frank?” I called out, not wanting to get smashed on the head again. I looked around the small hall and saw that the mess had been cleaned up since the last time I had been here. 

 

“Frank!” I called again, louder this time. By my fifth time calling his name I realized he wasn't in the house. I had looked upstairs first, a complete waste of time. i had found nothing but empty bottles in frank's room. 

 

I could have saved myself a lot of time if I had looked downstairs first and found open back doors.

 

I don't have to walk for before he found Frank passed out in the back garden. He was surrounded by 3 beer bottles. 

 

Sighing I grabbed one of the frank's arms and hoisted him up with slight difficulty. It took me 15 minutes to get the floppy-limbed boy into the house. 

 

Around 10 a.m. frank came too. Gerard was supposed to be here before this time to help me. 

 

“Gerard?” Frank mumbled.

 

“No, its Mikey, I'm sorry Frankie he should be here too.” I sighed and patted his leg. 

 

Suddenly frank started gagging.

 

“Are you going to throw up?” I asked.

“Mikey, I’m sorry,” Frank whimpered.

“Are you going to throw up?” I asked again.

“I don’t know,” Frank said, his stomach visibly tightening. I could tell he wanted to hold back but the more he tried the sicker he was going to feel. “Maybe- Mikey, I’m sorry.”

“If you’re going to throw up go to the trashcan.” i tried to pull him back up but Frank couldn’t do it. Once his feet were under him, his ankles started wobbling and he fell forward. His face would’ve struck the wooden floor had i not been holding his shoulder. 

 

Suddenly the front door swung open. Gerard sheepishly walked into the room.

 

“Gerard! Come help me.”

The next thing I knew Gerard was helping me hoist frank onto his feet and guided out to the kitchen. He started gagging and just barely reached the kitchen sink before he started throwing up. 

“There you go,” Gerard said, his voice a quiet hum. He was rubbing Frank’s back between his shoulder blades and it was clearly soothing frank despite the tremors wracking his body. 

Frank retched two more times before he sank to his knees in front of the sink. Gerard turned on the tap to rinse the sink then leaned down to pull Frank backup.

“Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

“Upstairs? Why?” Frank whimpered.

“Well, for one the toilet is a lot easier to reach than the sink, the floor is cold,” Gerard said, his voice a soft whisper.

“Okay,” Frank said, groaning as he was half dragged, half carried upstairs to the bathroom. I walked closely behind them in case frank passed out again.

 

As soon as frank was on his knees in front of the toilet, he threw up another time, Gerard still rubbing his back as he gagged.

“Frank, I’m gonna go get you some water, okay? If you start to feel too dizzy, just lie down on your side okay? Mikey is gonna be here.”

Frank moaned out a noncommittal answer as he propped his arms on the rim of the toilet, not thinking at all about the germs getting on the sleeves of his shirt. He rested his forehead against one of his arms and closed his eyes. 

 

“Mikey just stays with him for a minute, he’ll be okay he's just thirsty.”

After a few moments, i felt a soft tap on my shoulder Gerard had returned with a glass and we switch places.

 

when frank picked up his head the glass of water was being pressed to his lips.

“Drink.”

Frank obeyed, feeling he had no other choice with the glass so close to his lips. He was able to take two sips before he immediately turned and threw up again, collapsing into sobs.

“Is it ever going to stop?” He wept, laying against the toilet bowl while Gerard rubbed his back.

“Yeah, but you’ve gotta get some water in you. You’re dehydrated.”

He was clearly taking this badly, he could hardly take a breath without feeling the need to vomit.

“Gerard, I'm gonna go to school and cover for you guys okay, mom will be pissed if she knows you missed school.” 

 

I quietly let myself out of the house, a little hurt that frank was more comforted by Gerard than by me...


End file.
